Earlier today I had a moment of panic followed by a realization that really made my day. This summer is the 20 Year Reunion for my high school graduation. I honestly forgot that it was going to be this year because I had not thought of a reunion for years. Five years to be exact – when I got the invite for my 15th. The only reason I remembered it was this year is because a friend of mine started freaking out about going to hers.
I was just sitting with some mom friends at the park watching our kids play and sharing our latest family gossip. I pulled out a container of cookies and passed them around. My friend sniffed them and then passed them on to the next mom in line. Of course, I was worried there was something wrong with my cookies so I asked why she passed on them. Heaven help me I was not ready for her answer. She went on for over 20 minutes about how stressed she trying to get ready to go to her reunion.
My first reaction was damn mine is this year too. Second came the crushing anxiety of having to deal with people I don’t know at a party where I am supposed to be excited to be reunited with them after all these years. For a split second I worried that Hubby would want to go (we were high school sweethearts and graduated in the same year).
After that brief moment of panic I remembered that I don’t have to go! Guess what – you don’t either. Sure there are people who enjoyed high school and want to see all the friends they lost touch with – you people go have fun. There is also the group that has changed something so drastic or achieved something so phenomenal that they want to go rub the bullies noses in it. You guys go take care of business – just remember the plot of ‘Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion’ and don’t get yourself into trouble. Personally I am just going to pretend like it is not even happening. After one hour at my 5 year reunion I gave myself a free pass to miss them in the future. Why you ask? There are so many reasons but the ones I like to use the most.
My Favorite Reasons To Skip The Reunion
- Out of the 300+ people in my graduating class I only liked 10 of them. These days I only talk to 2 people from high school – I am married to one and Facebook tells me everything I need to know about the other.
- I refuse to spend the money on it. It would cost over $1000 to go to my reunion. Think a $1000 is an exaggeration? Add up the cost for a hotel for several nights, the gas and maintenance on my car for a 16 hour roundtrip, the cost of eating out for every meal for the whole family, the kennel cost for 4 pets, the house sitter, the bribe you have to buy your spouse to go with you, and the cost of therapy you will need to get over all the fresh mental trauma of reliving the horror of high school. Did you even factor in the number of PTO hours you are going to use?
- The cost of the new wardrobe you will need. If you are going then you want to impress the mean girls with the latest trends and an expensive purse. Don’t forget to add on the cost of a new wardrobe for Hubby and any kids you are dragging along to this fiasco.
- Do you really want to see the people you made out with when you were a teenager? Are you ready to stand there and reminisce with them over cocktails about the good ‘ol days while your spouse stares them down and makes comparisons in their head? You know your spouse is going to feel all kinds of crazy when you introduce them to the guy you went to Prom with. You both know what you did at Prom.
- I am honestly happy with where I am in my life; I don’t feel the need to condense the last 20 years into an elevator pitch of how great my life is. There is no burning need deep down for me to to show them the cute pictures of my kid and pets – I sure as hell don’t want to see theirs either.
My Absolute Favorite Reason
I love the movie ‘Grosse Ponte Blank’. I would be torn between sitting in a corner all night with Hubby trying to decide who became a hitman and is going to stab someone with a promo pen; and between acting out the scenes with Hubby. It is a toss up which would be more fun, but I could so pull off Minnie Driver.
So instead of losing my sanity trying to get through a reunion I have no interest in I am going to spend that money on a family vacation instead. I am going to pack the family up and head to Colonial Williamsburg for a week. We are going to walk through museums, see some people in historic costumes making butter, eat a turkey leg, and ride roller coasters at Busch Gardens. The best part? I am not going to stss about anything but making sure no one gets a sunburn.